In this addition of Mommy Monday, it’s going to be a doozy I’m afraid. I’ll probably sound hypocritical at times, a little condescending and maybe a little uplifting as well. I know those three words probably shouldn’t be in the same sentence but bear with me here.This past year has tested me to limits I didn’t think I had and back again. I’ve struggled with this new normal as a mother while simultaneously trying to find my new with Lupus. How do I keep them on track, myself on track, take care of them,take care of me? And not just our physical well-being, no, now it’s more imperative to take care of our mental well-being as everything we knew changes. I went into the first lockdown convinced that I had this, I could totally do this online learning with the kids all I had to do was set a schedule. Everything is easier with a schedule, right? I look back now and think what a condescending asshat I was. I mean I preached to anyone that listened that it’s so simple 1. Make a schedule 2. Follow schedule, don’t deviate 3. What do u mean it doesn’t work for you, it’s simple. See, asshat. And then I felt hypocritical giving all this advice when it was clearly not working. Being stubborn I kept forcing the issue trying to convince myself my thought patterns were right; my execution was wrong.
Turns out it was a little of both. The schedule wasn’t the issue, it was my inner perfectionist pitching a fit when I was slipping or my to do list wasn’t getting finished. Using a schedule to ease our daily tasks works amazing, it really does however, we tend to think it fails when we don’t have a good day or there’s sudden changes to said schedule. I also wanted to be more present for my kids and be more consistent for myself and them so when they returned to school, I asked the school to send me a copy of the kids schedule, period times etc but blank. I then filled in the schedule with my daily tasks, routine and business-related stuff as if I was in school. I’ll post a picture of what I mean below.
I felt like doing it this way would allow me to be more in sync if the kids should end up back home again which it did and keep me consistent so when “school” was over I was then present for my kids 100 percent. I won’t lie it was tough getting started and keeping on task. And I still struggle but the point I am obviously not making is I also learned a valuable lesson. I need to celebrate the small victories, be OK with not completing everything. Being consistent makes my world run so much smoother and helps with stress but I was putting so much focus on that I was failing to be present and getting cranky with everyone.
Here’s the uplifting part, we as parents have such a workload trying to be normal functioning adults ourselves and raise good humans that complicating it with unrealistic expectations makes it harder. Work smarter not harder is my new thought pattern so my advice, find what works for you and do it. I found having a daily plan, a weekly plan and a schedule works for me and my family. I also found being grateful and practicing gratefulness is huge. However, you choose to tackle our new normal you’re doing a great job, keep it up and till next time.
Love a very humbled and grateful Magnolia x
Rustic Magnolia 