So, I recently got hair extensions put in my hair and the comments I have received for doing it aren’t all bad, but it did make me ponder and think about where society is today in terms of how you should look, the perception of beauty and the thousands of women chasing this unrealistic and unattainable body image.
I will say unequivocally I did not get my hair, eyebrows micro-bladed or my tattoos because I am chasing an image. I did not start losing weight to chase anybody’s ideal. It took till I was in my mid thirties before I felt like I needed to make some changes. My health was declining, and I had been ignoring it for years. I didn’t eat well, I had bad habits and heap loads of stress I wasn’t dealing with adding to my physical ailments. I cannot stress this enough to people, stress and not taking care of your mental wellbeing WILL affect your body and if ignored often enough you’ll end up in a hospital bed with your body shutting down like mine did.
With that being said, you have an awful lot of time to evaluate life, where you stand and what needs to change. I told myself I needed to do better and my journey began. I got a trainer because I knew I couldn’t do it alone and I lost 40llbs in total which felt amazing. I had surpassed my weight goal. My goal was never to be super skinny, I was very thin at one point even after having my first baby and I never quite felt comfortable in my own skin. I was either starving myself or on drugs people would tell me. The judgement was hard to take, yet when I gained weight after my brother got sick and that stuck around, I was letting myself go. Funny how that works.
I got my first tattoo at 18, granted this one doesn’t have meaning to it, but it does have a memory attached to it and that began my love for this art form. I didn’t get anymore for many years because I wanted what I put on my body to represent who I am, to have meaning and not to be a fad where I just slap anything on my body. I now have 6 with one being almost a full sleeve. They are my memories, my accomplishments, my happiest moments and the loves of my life. They will be with me always and when I leave this world they will too. It’s profound for me.
I sometimes feel like I ramble when I write a blog and I go back several times to edit until I find my point lol. My biggest goal with this blog has always been transparency, I talk to you like I would talk to a friend. And that honesty is extremely important to me.
I got my hair extensions because my hair was growing very slowly where I had shaved it for many years, I was pretty frustrated about it. Rather then shave it again or cut it and hate it later I looked into extensions. I didn’t think hair could give me such confidence again, I mean it’s just hair. Memories have power though and when I look in the mirror, I see the fighter I was before health and circumstance had beaten me down, I saw the no fucks given person I was, and we got reacquainted with each other. I felt sexy again, powerful even. And I did it for nobody other than myself. I guess this kind of gets me to my point in a round about way. I don’t care how anyone alters their body, if it makes you feel how I feel, fabulous. I just think it’s important you do it for yourself and not for a boyfriend,husband,girlfriend,wife,lover, family or chasing after what a celebrity looks like.
We live in a world that is poisoning our young girls into striving often at unhealthy costs to look a certain way. Body shaming each other whether you do or don’t conform. We as women are doing this to eachother, it’s not even men although some don’t help matters either. It’s disgusting how people act and saying it behind a screen, being anonymous doesn’t excuse you.
Back to beauty, this was going in a very heavy direction. So here are the rules I follow when I’m thinking of change regardless of what it is. 1. Is it for you? Will it make you happy or will you want more and more? 2. Did you do your research? 3. Always check reviews and references of any work you’re getting done. 4. Pros and Cons list ALWAYS 5. Know what you are getting into before your appt. Find out all possible side effects that may occur 6. Be realistic about the possibility of infection or allergies. 7. If it’s cheap and I mean well below the competition don’t do it, you get what you pay for always. 8. Don’t ever let the words “but everyone’s doing it” come out of your mouth. 9. Your insides much match your outsides if you are not happy with who you are on the inside no amount of change on the outside will fix that. You will lose yourself in the process.
And last but not least know I think you are amazing, beautiful, handsome, worthy and more then enough. I want you to feel your best self in whatever form that is. Stay safe
Love Mama Bear Magnolia xx
Rustic Magnolia 